The day you were born was of course was a pretty difficult day for me. Labor usually is. I had great hopes that you would come quickly since you were the second baby. You didn't come quickly at all, actually you took almost exactly the same time as your brother. We checked into the hospital for induction and you didn't make your arrival until the next night. The labor was pretty much what I expected, having done it before, but this time I had your brother to consider. He was very protective of me so I couldn't let him see that I was in any pain for fear that he would resent you for it. He was so excited that you were coming. We all were. Your Daddy and I had been praying for another baby. We were not set on a girl or a boy, but were sooo excited to find out that you were a girl. You were beautiful from the start, with pretty dark hair and blue eyes. I was so proud of you.
You had many visitors at the hospital then later at home. We only spent one night at the hospital and got to bring you home the very next day. I was a little apprehensive about how you would fit into our day to day routine. It had been running so smoothly for 6 years with Luke and I was hoping to neatly tuck you into that schedule. We were all on board for fitting you in, but you were everything but on board. I learned quickly that you would be setting your own routine and that the predictability that I had experienced with Luke was simply a thing of the past. You did everything your way, right from the start. You had me camping out two nights and days at the hospital with jaundice. I sat in a chair for the 48 hours doing nothing more than nursing and praying that my baby girl would be okay. I remember my feet being so swollen and being so tired. I prayed for God to get us home so I could get some rest. Little did I know that I was going to spend most of the next two years in a chair, your rocking chair.
You quickly took to me and decided that no one else would do, much like you are today. You unlike your brother also took quickly to nursing and grew fond it, very fond of it. You liked that much more than sleeping and woke me every hour, literally, for almost 19 months. I thought I would die! I can remember many tears I cried thinking that I just couldn't do it. I would work, pump, work, pump, pick you up, nurse, take care of everything else, nurse, rock, nurse, rock, nurse...and on and on. I was exhausted. Everyone would offer help, but really as a nursing mother who could hardly pump enough to last a day at daycare I had to do it on my own. It was tough, real tough, but every time I looked at your sweet smiling face I was given enough drive to keep going. You melted my heart.
You were not only changing the nighttime routine at our house, you were shaking it all up. That's just you. You make your presence known, in a big way. You laughed louder and harder than any baby I had ever been around. Many people talked about how you smiled with your whole face. I loved it, and still do. You screamed louder than our ears had ever witnessed. I sometimes felt bad for the neighbors. One day your were a puppy and the next a pony. I began to question if maybe I lived in a zoo. I quickly realized that life as we knew it would never be the same. This was exciting and frightening for me, considering Luke. I felt for him so much because I knew his life was forever changed too. I feared that he may not recognize all that you were adding to our life, but would only be consumed by all the limitations that were now put on us. He amazed me with his maturity. He never showed a sign of jealousy or resentment, although I'm sure at times he felt it. You had him wrapped around your little finger.
As the weeks turned to months and the months to years we figured out that you were not an easy one to peg. What you were passionate about today, you could care less about the next. What you hated today, you may want all day tomorrow. What a challenge! You dictated how everything would be. You would have chose mac and cheese for every meal with pizza on the side with NO CHEESE. One day you prefer white milk and the next day chocolate. One day your a jeans and t kinda girl and the next day tu tu and feather boa. I remember having such a hard time when we named you . Macy Belle was my final choice. Macy means weapon and Belle means beauty. I marveled at how contradictory those meanings were, but now feel that it couldn't have been more appropriate for you. That's just you and the kinda girl you are.
