August 17th
One Week
One week, 7 days, 168 hours, or 10,080 minutes. A lot can happen in that time. This time last week I had just finished having dinner with my family and was home getting the kids ready for bed. I had gotten the call that Dad was in the ER. I knew he was sick, but I had put my kids to bed feeling good about life. Feeling no true fear. Life was good, all was well.
Today, one week later my Mom is at Walmart picking up prescriptions for meds to control my Dad's nearly unbearable pain. She is searching the grocery isles to find anything that she thinks he might could keep down. She is planning to bring him home from the hospital tonight. They walked out of the house a week ago with a normal life, the kind they have had for 39 years. Tonight they will walk back into that house with everything changed. Last week they had the weekend ahead of them, they wondered if they would go to Tennessee or work around the house for the weekend, this week they are wondering when the chemo will start and anticipating exactly what kind of cancer they are dealing with. Last week they were picking up bottled water for my Dads work bucket and tonight they are picking up Morphine. Last week they had worries about work and home projects, tonight they have worries about tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. They now have life or death worries. Last week I rushed through my workday to get home to my kiddos, this week I pull over and cry my eyes out after every patient. What a change. It's not only a change, it feels like a shift in the universe, our universe. Life is different.
I know we will get up soon. I know my Dad is Superman. I know we will rally. I know what kind of people we are. I know we can do this. I know it, I know it. We just can't do it today.
Sunday, October 23, 2016
August 16th The Crash
At last writing I was falling. I hated that feeling. It went on for several days. Doctors surrounded my Dad, poking and prodding. I would sit by Dads beside and watch as the strongest man in the world became very normal. He became a patient. How could this be? I watched my Mom go from being a wife to being a caregiver. How could this be? She stayed by his side every moment comforting and serving his every need. How could any of this be? This is not real. This is not happening. Those were the thoughts that played over and over in my mind.
I didn't want to tell anyone about Dad because that would confirm that this was real, yet I wanted to tell everyone. I wanted someone to say something to make me feel better. I know it sounds selfish, but I desperately wanted to feel better.
Biopsies were scheduled for Friday along with an EGD. Finally, I thought we'd get answers. Friday came and went. Tests were cancelled due to blood being thin. Saturday came and went, Sunday came and went. The biopsies were done on Monday. Four CT guided biopsies were taken by the radiologist. No answers. On Tuesday the EGD was done. After that answers came all too quickly.
I had just got home from work on Tuesday when I got another life shaking phone call. It was Mom, with the same voice as the last time I got horrible news. She proceeded to tell me that the tumor was not only outside of Dads stomach but was nearly filling his stomach threatening to cut off his ability to eat of drink. The cancer Doctor has already came. Things were not good. There was talk of him needing his entire stomach removed. Talk of this being untreatable. Things were changing. Fast. This was "The Crash". Life as I knew it stopped. I was very sure that it would never be the same. I had landed and it was in unknown territory. It was in a place that I did not like at all.
I pulled myself together and headed back to the hospital with the kids. Everything was different. Dad was totally different. Mom was totally different. The nurses were totally different. Everyone had felt the crash. The world had shook. We all knew we had to get up, but it didn't feel like today was the day to try it.
At last writing I was falling. I hated that feeling. It went on for several days. Doctors surrounded my Dad, poking and prodding. I would sit by Dads beside and watch as the strongest man in the world became very normal. He became a patient. How could this be? I watched my Mom go from being a wife to being a caregiver. How could this be? She stayed by his side every moment comforting and serving his every need. How could any of this be? This is not real. This is not happening. Those were the thoughts that played over and over in my mind.
I didn't want to tell anyone about Dad because that would confirm that this was real, yet I wanted to tell everyone. I wanted someone to say something to make me feel better. I know it sounds selfish, but I desperately wanted to feel better.
Biopsies were scheduled for Friday along with an EGD. Finally, I thought we'd get answers. Friday came and went. Tests were cancelled due to blood being thin. Saturday came and went, Sunday came and went. The biopsies were done on Monday. Four CT guided biopsies were taken by the radiologist. No answers. On Tuesday the EGD was done. After that answers came all too quickly.
I had just got home from work on Tuesday when I got another life shaking phone call. It was Mom, with the same voice as the last time I got horrible news. She proceeded to tell me that the tumor was not only outside of Dads stomach but was nearly filling his stomach threatening to cut off his ability to eat of drink. The cancer Doctor has already came. Things were not good. There was talk of him needing his entire stomach removed. Talk of this being untreatable. Things were changing. Fast. This was "The Crash". Life as I knew it stopped. I was very sure that it would never be the same. I had landed and it was in unknown territory. It was in a place that I did not like at all.
I pulled myself together and headed back to the hospital with the kids. Everything was different. Dad was totally different. Mom was totally different. The nurses were totally different. Everyone had felt the crash. The world had shook. We all knew we had to get up, but it didn't feel like today was the day to try it.
August 11th
Breathless
Have you ever had the breath knocked out of you? Thats a phrase I have heard throughout my life but never fully understood, until this week. I now know how it feels to be breathless. I believe that most of the time you get the breath knocked out of you as a result of a fall. I am now wondering if you become breathless as a result of the acceleration of the fall or from the actual impact of your landing or "the crash". I feel as though I am presently falling and my breath is nowhere to be found, so as of now I will go with the previous theory that the rapid change in level is the cause of the actual loss of ability to breath. Either way, I need to breath.
Breathless
Have you ever had the breath knocked out of you? Thats a phrase I have heard throughout my life but never fully understood, until this week. I now know how it feels to be breathless. I believe that most of the time you get the breath knocked out of you as a result of a fall. I am now wondering if you become breathless as a result of the acceleration of the fall or from the actual impact of your landing or "the crash". I feel as though I am presently falling and my breath is nowhere to be found, so as of now I will go with the previous theory that the rapid change in level is the cause of the actual loss of ability to breath. Either way, I need to breath.
It was an eventful Wednesday in my life as it was the first day of the new school year. Earlier that morning Luke had started 8th grade and Macy 2nd. I had spent my day with a lot of mixed emotions. I was sad thinking of having less time with the kids and sad thinking about how quickly they are growing up, yet I was excited for the freshness of a new year. I love new beginnings and I also function much better with routines and schedules. I know, I'm boring and predictable. That's just me. Anyway, the day went well. The kids both were happy with their teachers and classes and such, all was well. Jeff had to work that evening so I decided to take the kids out to dinner for a treat. Macy chose Chick Fil A as she had a coupon for a free ice dream cone from there. On our way there Macy realized she had forgotten her coupon and I got a message from Mom inviting us to join them for dinner at Bellacinios. Quick change of plans. We had a nice dinner with Dad, Mom, and Momaw. All was well. All was normal...except Dad again wasn't feeling good.
Dad hadn't been feeling good for sometime now. He was having pain in his stomach and back for weeks if not months. He would complain, then assure us that he was fine. He called it air, indigestion, soreness from a hard days work. He called it everything, but ignored it as best he could and wanted us all to do that same. That day was different. Dad was contemplating going to the ER. Wait, what? My Dad don't go to the ER. My Dad just don't get sick. By the time we finished eating Dad assured us all that he was feeling just fine and was ready to head home. We all left for home. All was well.
I got the kids home and started the nighttime routine, that I was trying to set into motion since this was the first night after school. I got a text from Mom saying that she was in the ER with Dad. She explained that they had gone to the store to get water and said that when she came out Dad was violently throwing up by the car and having unbearable pain. I felt comforted knowing that he was at the hospital finally. I felt a tiny bit of worry thinking that the worst prognosis could be a heart blockage. A heart attack would be terrible I thought, heart surgery would be a real bump in the road. I prayed that his heart would be fine. And it was, I guess.
I continued to text with Mom throughout the evening getting updates as to what they were checking and doing. I got some pics of him hooked up to the EKG machine looking all embarrassed. I guess they thought heart too, just as I did. Around 11 or 12 I got word from Mom that they were admitting him to watch his heart through the night and do some more testing tomorrow. I was relieved that they were taking this seriously. I rested some through the night.
Thursday morning was rough getting the kiddos up. Macy was not feeling it. I had them all set up with breakfast and clothes and I took a quick minute to call mom and check on Dad. That's when my breathing stopped. That's when I fell. I've been falling ever since. Moms voice was different. It wasn't tired, or frustrated with being away from home. It wasn't a wondering voice, worried about what the day would bring. It was a voice of defeat, a breathless voice. "They did a ct scan last night, your Dad has 7X8 cm mass between his stomach and his pancreas and multiple small masses around the pancreas". I had no words. I still have no words. I have no words because I have no breath. I now know the feeling of having the breath knocked out of you. It's out of me. I am breathless.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
No resolutions?
I am as usual blown away by people saying that they are not making New Years resolutions. Really? You don't want to change a thing about your life? You don't need to improve on anything? Wow, I can't imagine that feeling. I sit today overwhelmed by all that I am resolving to do in the upcoming year. Literally thousands of things come to mind. I could list for days. I know that some would view having that many resolutions as foolish and true enough I will fail miserably at achieving most of them but at least you can't say I don't have goals. So here goes...
This year 2013 I want to:
Listen more
Talk less
Eat more fruits and veggies
read more
write more
attend some theatre
attend some concerts
cook more
eat less
laugh more
hug more
raise my voice less
purge my house of clutter
set up functional routines that help me keep things in order
meal plan
take Macy for a manicure
have more date nights
take Luke on an overnight getaway to do something fun
have a dinner party
pray more
read my bible more
stay on top of routine health stuff
give more
spend less
go to the beach
get back to disney world
work on my photography passion
make holidays more memorable
display family photos so we all can enjoy them
give more thoughtful gifts
send cards-the old fashioned kind
dance more
have some overdue home repairs done
floss everyday instead of almost everyday,lol
spend more time with friends
spend more time with my extended family
begin to teach Macy to read
do bible studies with the kids
go for more walks
make some new friends
visit my three Angies
help to get my family moved to Princeton
volunteer more
paint my bedroom
reclaim our guest room
have more cookouts
play corn hole
use my fire pit
get my pond installed, I think Ive had it for about 5 years now
drink more hot chocolate
support Luke is his guitar endeavor and encourage him to sing
support Jeff in his artistic endeavors
go on a Mom/daughter trip with my Mom
have a picture made with my grandma, my mom, me and Macy Belle
get Macy started in some kind of class, maybe dance or music class
make more family videos-thanks to my awesome Christmas gift from Jeff
get a massage
journal
eBay some stuff
be more consistent with my blog
have more frequent dates with my brother
call my momaw everyday
be more thankful
not let little things get me so aggravated (roll with the punches)
play more board games
have more sleepovers for Luke
let Macy have her very first sleep over
makes birthdays even more special
get involved in a cause that my family can all participate in
put more thought and effort into our teaching at church
say no sometimes
I think this is an unending list. I have several personal goals, dreams, and plans as well, but for now I will leave it at that. I encourage everyone to think about what they want to do this year, challenge yourself. Sure you won't do it all, but maybe just maybe you will have fun trying and be proud of yourself when you look back on 2013 on this day next year. Happy New Year to all!!
This year 2013 I want to:
Listen more
Talk less
Eat more fruits and veggies
read more
write more
attend some theatre
attend some concerts
cook more
eat less
laugh more
hug more
raise my voice less
purge my house of clutter
set up functional routines that help me keep things in order
meal plan
take Macy for a manicure
have more date nights
take Luke on an overnight getaway to do something fun
have a dinner party
pray more
read my bible more
stay on top of routine health stuff
give more
spend less
go to the beach
get back to disney world
work on my photography passion
make holidays more memorable
display family photos so we all can enjoy them
give more thoughtful gifts
send cards-the old fashioned kind
dance more
have some overdue home repairs done
floss everyday instead of almost everyday,lol
spend more time with friends
spend more time with my extended family
begin to teach Macy to read
do bible studies with the kids
go for more walks
make some new friends
visit my three Angies
help to get my family moved to Princeton
volunteer more
paint my bedroom
reclaim our guest room
have more cookouts
play corn hole
use my fire pit
get my pond installed, I think Ive had it for about 5 years now
drink more hot chocolate
support Luke is his guitar endeavor and encourage him to sing
support Jeff in his artistic endeavors
go on a Mom/daughter trip with my Mom
have a picture made with my grandma, my mom, me and Macy Belle
get Macy started in some kind of class, maybe dance or music class
make more family videos-thanks to my awesome Christmas gift from Jeff
get a massage
journal
eBay some stuff
be more consistent with my blog
have more frequent dates with my brother
call my momaw everyday
be more thankful
not let little things get me so aggravated (roll with the punches)
play more board games
have more sleepovers for Luke
let Macy have her very first sleep over
makes birthdays even more special
get involved in a cause that my family can all participate in
put more thought and effort into our teaching at church
say no sometimes
I think this is an unending list. I have several personal goals, dreams, and plans as well, but for now I will leave it at that. I encourage everyone to think about what they want to do this year, challenge yourself. Sure you won't do it all, but maybe just maybe you will have fun trying and be proud of yourself when you look back on 2013 on this day next year. Happy New Year to all!!
Monday, December 31, 2012
Thankful Tree
When I was a little girl my Mom would help me make a "thankful tree" every year for Thanksgiving. I would simply draw a big tree on poster board then cut out construction paper leaves. Throughout the month I would write what I was thankful for on the leaves then glue them to the tree. Some years I remember making a family tree where everyone hung their blessings on one tree together. I used to love looking at what everyone was thankful for. Now I enjoy reading friends and family's post on Facebook as they write a daily gratitude for the month of November. Its always nice to be reminded of just how blessed we are and just how blessed our friends and family are.
I would love to look back at my old trees, but they were probably lost with the flood if they were still around my parents house. I would love to see what I was thankful for at different ages. I think our level of gratitude and our priorities change so much as we grow and mature. I'm sure I had the basics, like family, food, house, God, clothing, etc, but it would still be fun to look back at that and maybe compare the things that my children now list.
Thinking about those old crafts got me to thinking about what I would make now. What would my leaves show that I thank God for. Wow, I would put entirely too much thought into each leaf. Something like that could drive me crazy now days. What exactly am I grateful for? It's hard to pinpoint a set number of things. You worry about leaving someone out or forgetting something that God has so blessed you with. Tough stuff seeing as we are blessed beyond measure. I guess I would still have my basic friends, family, and food leaves, but I know I must have matured beyond that. What am I truly thankful for...there's just so much. As I ponder it I can begin to imagine what my tree may look like now. It may have larger leaves with much bigger explanations on it. Instead of one word blessing I think I now have stories of blessings and memories that I am so grateful for.
I guess I have came to realize that it's the experiences that I am thankful for. It's the love and laughter shared with my family. It's the friendships that have came and went throughout the years and taught me so much, and the lifelong bonds that have came along with a few of those. It's the moments of true Joy and the heartaches that have forced me to grow. It's the family dance parties and the long hugs when heartache is present. It's sweet little girl kisses on cold mornings and long talks with my big boy at bedtime. It's the craziness of Christmas decorating with my husband and the support and love I feel from him everyday. It's the moments of worship where I feel like God smiles at me, and the quiet prayers when I know he hears. Its life, it's everyday, it's wonderful...and for that I am thankful.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice
Happy Birthday my big girl. I can't believe your 4 years old today. I'm amazed by how quickly you are growing up. I guess it's true that time stands still for no man. If I was given the choice I have to admit that I would push the pause button right about now, because I love this age. It is so fun. Your so sweet, loving, funny, and full of life. I feel blessed to get to experience it with you. I have taken the day off work to spend with you and hopefully reflect on your 4 year journey.
The day you were born was of course was a pretty difficult day for me. Labor usually is. I had great hopes that you would come quickly since you were the second baby. You didn't come quickly at all, actually you took almost exactly the same time as your brother. We checked into the hospital for induction and you didn't make your arrival until the next night. The labor was pretty much what I expected, having done it before, but this time I had your brother to consider. He was very protective of me so I couldn't let him see that I was in any pain for fear that he would resent you for it. He was so excited that you were coming. We all were. Your Daddy and I had been praying for another baby. We were not set on a girl or a boy, but were sooo excited to find out that you were a girl. You were beautiful from the start, with pretty dark hair and blue eyes. I was so proud of you.
You had many visitors at the hospital then later at home. We only spent one night at the hospital and got to bring you home the very next day. I was a little apprehensive about how you would fit into our day to day routine. It had been running so smoothly for 6 years with Luke and I was hoping to neatly tuck you into that schedule. We were all on board for fitting you in, but you were everything but on board. I learned quickly that you would be setting your own routine and that the predictability that I had experienced with Luke was simply a thing of the past. You did everything your way, right from the start. You had me camping out two nights and days at the hospital with jaundice. I sat in a chair for the 48 hours doing nothing more than nursing and praying that my baby girl would be okay. I remember my feet being so swollen and being so tired. I prayed for God to get us home so I could get some rest. Little did I know that I was going to spend most of the next two years in a chair, your rocking chair.
You quickly took to me and decided that no one else would do, much like you are today. You unlike your brother also took quickly to nursing and grew fond it, very fond of it. You liked that much more than sleeping and woke me every hour, literally, for almost 19 months. I thought I would die! I can remember many tears I cried thinking that I just couldn't do it. I would work, pump, work, pump, pick you up, nurse, take care of everything else, nurse, rock, nurse, rock, nurse...and on and on. I was exhausted. Everyone would offer help, but really as a nursing mother who could hardly pump enough to last a day at daycare I had to do it on my own. It was tough, real tough, but every time I looked at your sweet smiling face I was given enough drive to keep going. You melted my heart.
You were not only changing the nighttime routine at our house, you were shaking it all up. That's just you. You make your presence known, in a big way. You laughed louder and harder than any baby I had ever been around. Many people talked about how you smiled with your whole face. I loved it, and still do. You screamed louder than our ears had ever witnessed. I sometimes felt bad for the neighbors. One day your were a puppy and the next a pony. I began to question if maybe I lived in a zoo. I quickly realized that life as we knew it would never be the same. This was exciting and frightening for me, considering Luke. I felt for him so much because I knew his life was forever changed too. I feared that he may not recognize all that you were adding to our life, but would only be consumed by all the limitations that were now put on us. He amazed me with his maturity. He never showed a sign of jealousy or resentment, although I'm sure at times he felt it. You had him wrapped around your little finger.
As the weeks turned to months and the months to years we figured out that you were not an easy one to peg. What you were passionate about today, you could care less about the next. What you hated today, you may want all day tomorrow. What a challenge! You dictated how everything would be. You would have chose mac and cheese for every meal with pizza on the side with NO CHEESE. One day you prefer white milk and the next day chocolate. One day your a jeans and t kinda girl and the next day tu tu and feather boa. I remember having such a hard time when we named you . Macy Belle was my final choice. Macy means weapon and Belle means beauty. I marveled at how contradictory those meanings were, but now feel that it couldn't have been more appropriate for you. That's just you and the kinda girl you are.
So now as I watch you growing, learning, and changing it is my hope that you keep that spirit. I hope you remain so full of life and unbridled passion. I hope you keep your light hearted attitude and your kindness toward others. I hope you continue to love with all you have. I hope you recognize your gifts and talents from God and use them in life. I hope you walk out all the steps God has ordered for you. I'm excited to see where he takes you my princess, puppy, kitty cat. Happy 4th Birthday. I love you!!
The day you were born was of course was a pretty difficult day for me. Labor usually is. I had great hopes that you would come quickly since you were the second baby. You didn't come quickly at all, actually you took almost exactly the same time as your brother. We checked into the hospital for induction and you didn't make your arrival until the next night. The labor was pretty much what I expected, having done it before, but this time I had your brother to consider. He was very protective of me so I couldn't let him see that I was in any pain for fear that he would resent you for it. He was so excited that you were coming. We all were. Your Daddy and I had been praying for another baby. We were not set on a girl or a boy, but were sooo excited to find out that you were a girl. You were beautiful from the start, with pretty dark hair and blue eyes. I was so proud of you.
You had many visitors at the hospital then later at home. We only spent one night at the hospital and got to bring you home the very next day. I was a little apprehensive about how you would fit into our day to day routine. It had been running so smoothly for 6 years with Luke and I was hoping to neatly tuck you into that schedule. We were all on board for fitting you in, but you were everything but on board. I learned quickly that you would be setting your own routine and that the predictability that I had experienced with Luke was simply a thing of the past. You did everything your way, right from the start. You had me camping out two nights and days at the hospital with jaundice. I sat in a chair for the 48 hours doing nothing more than nursing and praying that my baby girl would be okay. I remember my feet being so swollen and being so tired. I prayed for God to get us home so I could get some rest. Little did I know that I was going to spend most of the next two years in a chair, your rocking chair.
You quickly took to me and decided that no one else would do, much like you are today. You unlike your brother also took quickly to nursing and grew fond it, very fond of it. You liked that much more than sleeping and woke me every hour, literally, for almost 19 months. I thought I would die! I can remember many tears I cried thinking that I just couldn't do it. I would work, pump, work, pump, pick you up, nurse, take care of everything else, nurse, rock, nurse, rock, nurse...and on and on. I was exhausted. Everyone would offer help, but really as a nursing mother who could hardly pump enough to last a day at daycare I had to do it on my own. It was tough, real tough, but every time I looked at your sweet smiling face I was given enough drive to keep going. You melted my heart.
You were not only changing the nighttime routine at our house, you were shaking it all up. That's just you. You make your presence known, in a big way. You laughed louder and harder than any baby I had ever been around. Many people talked about how you smiled with your whole face. I loved it, and still do. You screamed louder than our ears had ever witnessed. I sometimes felt bad for the neighbors. One day your were a puppy and the next a pony. I began to question if maybe I lived in a zoo. I quickly realized that life as we knew it would never be the same. This was exciting and frightening for me, considering Luke. I felt for him so much because I knew his life was forever changed too. I feared that he may not recognize all that you were adding to our life, but would only be consumed by all the limitations that were now put on us. He amazed me with his maturity. He never showed a sign of jealousy or resentment, although I'm sure at times he felt it. You had him wrapped around your little finger.
As the weeks turned to months and the months to years we figured out that you were not an easy one to peg. What you were passionate about today, you could care less about the next. What you hated today, you may want all day tomorrow. What a challenge! You dictated how everything would be. You would have chose mac and cheese for every meal with pizza on the side with NO CHEESE. One day you prefer white milk and the next day chocolate. One day your a jeans and t kinda girl and the next day tu tu and feather boa. I remember having such a hard time when we named you . Macy Belle was my final choice. Macy means weapon and Belle means beauty. I marveled at how contradictory those meanings were, but now feel that it couldn't have been more appropriate for you. That's just you and the kinda girl you are.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Ten years, Wow! I really can't believe its been 10 years. An entire decade, 120 months, 520 weeks, 3653 days including leap years. Wow! Its sometimes hard to wrap my mind around that, but today makes 10 years that I have been blessed with you, my precious son Elijah Luke Griffith.
I remember the time well. I was so excited about having a baby. Your Daddy and I had made so many preparations. All the clothes were washed, the room was ready, the car seat was all strapped in, the family was on standby, and all was ready. You even seemed to be ready. The doctor had told us that you were growing quickly and that he didn't think it would be a good idea to wait closer to our Sept 24th due date. I was induced on Sept 16th in the evening. We knew it would be a long night and that you wouldn't make your appearance until sometime on the 17th, but the waiting room was filled none the less. Everyone was excited.
We were right in thinking that you wouldn't make a speedy entrance, actually you didn't come until late evening on the 17th. You were beautiful, just perfect in every way. I changed in that moment. My life was shifting, and there was no way I could grasp the magnitude of it. Life would never be the same! From first meeting I saw a spark in you. We gave you the name Luke, which means bringer of light, and I have never though another name could have been more fitting for you.
The following days are a blur. Little sleep, lots of visitors, and much stress over breast feeding. I wanted so badly to be the perfect Mom and when nursing wasn't working out, I got my first dose of Mommy guilt. I remember laying in bed that night crying so hard because I had failed my baby boy. Little did I know that I would spend many many more night battling that same feeling.
The days turned to weeks and the weeks to months and before long you were smiling, laughing, and even beginning to talk. You were quite the early talker, making words, then sentences, and before long stories. I honestly have a hard time remembering my life without your voice in it. You would tell us of your pirate adventures, your encounter with the tooth fairy, and your spooky Halloween tales. You retained knowledge at an amazing capacity for a toddler. You could identify all the birds in a field guide we had, name all the nascar drivers, their numbers and owners. You knew all the pirates of the Caribbean and would set up "worlds" with all the figures that would represent some epic battles. Your imagination was out of this world. And just as quickly as those months came the years started piling up. You learned how to ready and write which opened up an entire new world to you. You had always sat while I read endless stacks of books to you, but now you were reading those stacks to me. You began writing your own books, which I now have a pretty impressive collection of. Super Luke and his amazing adventures.
You made friends and formed bonds with your family which you will always held dear to you. You have formed lasting relationships with your family, your church family, your school friends, and your neighbors. You have friends in the Philippines, Uganda, and Australia. That's pretty impressive for a 10 year old. Our family grew and you became a brother, a role that you fell into without difficulty.
Now I see you starting to grow into a young man. I must admit that it brings tears to my eyes, but at the same time excitement to my heart. I can't wait to see that things you do in your life. I have always felt that you would be a world changer, and I stand firmly by that. You have something special in you kiddo. Something that can do big things. I pray for you everyday and pray that you will use that special something to glorify God and spread his good word, and I think you will.
It amazes me what you have done in ten short years. I thought I would make a list of some of the most important things I think you have learned in the past decade then make a list of a few things I hope you can learn in the next 10 years. I love you baby boy and I feel so blessed to have been chosen to be your Momma. I hope you this birthday and everyday to come is filled with love, happiness and health. I love you to the moon and back 8,935,713,246,534,299 times.
Most important things you have learned (in no particular order)
1. To talk. Your voice is your outlet to the world. You contribute so much with your words.
2. To walk. You are mobile. You are going places. You explore the world with a curiosity that amazes me sometimes
3. To pray. Everyone I know loves to hear you pray. You have always spoken to God with such sincerity. You not only ask God to provide your needs, you thank him daily for all he has done.
4. To read. Your love of reading gives you a window to the world. You can go anywhere you chose with books.
5. To share. Life requires it. You have learned to share everything from your toys to your opinions. Sharing is essential.
6. Your worth. You know just how important you are.
7. Your salvation. You know that Jesus died on a cross for you!
8. How to tie your shoe. It would really stink to always have to ask for help with that. Independence is important.
9. How to ride a bike. That's pretty much your main mode of transportation if your being self reliant at this point.
10. How to make a sandwich.
What I hope that you learn in the next 10 years
1. To drive
2. To do your own laundry
3. To prepare at least one really good meal.
4. To be kind to yourself and others. Let Gods love show through you.
5. To share the good news of Jesus Christ in any situation with confidence.
6. To find something that your passionate about and begin to peruse it. Life will be so much happier if you do this.
7. To try hard at everything you do. If your not trying you not really living. You don't always have to get the perfect grade or score the winning shot, but you will feel so much better knowing that you gave it your all either way.
8. To be yourself. No matter what. Your uniqueness is what makes your special. Its a strength. Embrace it.
9. To sometimes cut yourself a break. Don't beat yourself up about every mistake(that's one mommy really needs to work on).
10. To give yourself away. That's where you will find life.
11. To take responsibility for your actions no matter the cost.
12. To know that your Daddy and I love you soooo much, no matter if your 2 or 20. You are our first born. Our only son. Our special gift from God above. We will be here to support you no matter what!!!!
We were right in thinking that you wouldn't make a speedy entrance, actually you didn't come until late evening on the 17th. You were beautiful, just perfect in every way. I changed in that moment. My life was shifting, and there was no way I could grasp the magnitude of it. Life would never be the same! From first meeting I saw a spark in you. We gave you the name Luke, which means bringer of light, and I have never though another name could have been more fitting for you.
The following days are a blur. Little sleep, lots of visitors, and much stress over breast feeding. I wanted so badly to be the perfect Mom and when nursing wasn't working out, I got my first dose of Mommy guilt. I remember laying in bed that night crying so hard because I had failed my baby boy. Little did I know that I would spend many many more night battling that same feeling.
The days turned to weeks and the weeks to months and before long you were smiling, laughing, and even beginning to talk. You were quite the early talker, making words, then sentences, and before long stories. I honestly have a hard time remembering my life without your voice in it. You would tell us of your pirate adventures, your encounter with the tooth fairy, and your spooky Halloween tales. You retained knowledge at an amazing capacity for a toddler. You could identify all the birds in a field guide we had, name all the nascar drivers, their numbers and owners. You knew all the pirates of the Caribbean and would set up "worlds" with all the figures that would represent some epic battles. Your imagination was out of this world. And just as quickly as those months came the years started piling up. You learned how to ready and write which opened up an entire new world to you. You had always sat while I read endless stacks of books to you, but now you were reading those stacks to me. You began writing your own books, which I now have a pretty impressive collection of. Super Luke and his amazing adventures.
You made friends and formed bonds with your family which you will always held dear to you. You have formed lasting relationships with your family, your church family, your school friends, and your neighbors. You have friends in the Philippines, Uganda, and Australia. That's pretty impressive for a 10 year old. Our family grew and you became a brother, a role that you fell into without difficulty.
Now I see you starting to grow into a young man. I must admit that it brings tears to my eyes, but at the same time excitement to my heart. I can't wait to see that things you do in your life. I have always felt that you would be a world changer, and I stand firmly by that. You have something special in you kiddo. Something that can do big things. I pray for you everyday and pray that you will use that special something to glorify God and spread his good word, and I think you will.
It amazes me what you have done in ten short years. I thought I would make a list of some of the most important things I think you have learned in the past decade then make a list of a few things I hope you can learn in the next 10 years. I love you baby boy and I feel so blessed to have been chosen to be your Momma. I hope you this birthday and everyday to come is filled with love, happiness and health. I love you to the moon and back 8,935,713,246,534,299 times.
Most important things you have learned (in no particular order)
1. To talk. Your voice is your outlet to the world. You contribute so much with your words.
2. To walk. You are mobile. You are going places. You explore the world with a curiosity that amazes me sometimes
3. To pray. Everyone I know loves to hear you pray. You have always spoken to God with such sincerity. You not only ask God to provide your needs, you thank him daily for all he has done.
4. To read. Your love of reading gives you a window to the world. You can go anywhere you chose with books.
5. To share. Life requires it. You have learned to share everything from your toys to your opinions. Sharing is essential.
6. Your worth. You know just how important you are.
7. Your salvation. You know that Jesus died on a cross for you!
8. How to tie your shoe. It would really stink to always have to ask for help with that. Independence is important.
9. How to ride a bike. That's pretty much your main mode of transportation if your being self reliant at this point.
10. How to make a sandwich.
What I hope that you learn in the next 10 years
1. To drive
2. To do your own laundry
3. To prepare at least one really good meal.
4. To be kind to yourself and others. Let Gods love show through you.
5. To share the good news of Jesus Christ in any situation with confidence.
6. To find something that your passionate about and begin to peruse it. Life will be so much happier if you do this.
7. To try hard at everything you do. If your not trying you not really living. You don't always have to get the perfect grade or score the winning shot, but you will feel so much better knowing that you gave it your all either way.
8. To be yourself. No matter what. Your uniqueness is what makes your special. Its a strength. Embrace it.
9. To sometimes cut yourself a break. Don't beat yourself up about every mistake(that's one mommy really needs to work on).
10. To give yourself away. That's where you will find life.
11. To take responsibility for your actions no matter the cost.
12. To know that your Daddy and I love you soooo much, no matter if your 2 or 20. You are our first born. Our only son. Our special gift from God above. We will be here to support you no matter what!!!!
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