August 16th The Crash
     At last writing I was falling. I hated that feeling. It went on for several days. Doctors surrounded my Dad, poking and prodding. I would sit by Dads beside and watch as the strongest man in the world became very normal. He became a patient. How could this be? I watched my Mom go from being a wife to being a caregiver. How could this be? She stayed by his side every moment comforting and serving his every need.  How could any of this be? This is not real. This is not happening. Those were the thoughts that played over and over in my mind.
      I didn't want to tell anyone about Dad because that would confirm that this was real, yet I wanted to tell everyone. I wanted someone to say something to make me feel better. I know it sounds selfish, but I desperately wanted to feel better.
     Biopsies were scheduled for Friday along with an EGD. Finally, I thought we'd get answers. Friday came and went. Tests were cancelled due to blood being thin. Saturday came and went, Sunday came and went. The biopsies were done on Monday. Four CT guided biopsies were taken by the radiologist. No answers. On Tuesday the EGD was done. After that answers came all too quickly.
     I had just got home from work on Tuesday when I got another life shaking phone call. It was Mom, with the same voice as the last time I got horrible news. She proceeded to tell me that the tumor was not only outside of Dads stomach but was nearly filling his stomach threatening to cut off his ability to eat of drink. The cancer Doctor has already came. Things were not good. There was talk of him needing his entire stomach removed. Talk of this being untreatable. Things were changing. Fast. This was "The Crash". Life as I knew it stopped. I was very sure that it would never be the same. I had landed and it was in unknown territory. It was in a place that I did not like at all.
     I pulled myself together and headed back to the hospital with the kids. Everything was different. Dad was totally different. Mom was totally different. The nurses were totally different. Everyone had felt the crash. The world had shook. We all knew we had to get up, but it didn't feel like today was the day to try it.