this morning

     This morning at church I got a clear message to God. I wasn't looking for it or asking for it, but I got it just the same. During praise and worship I began to be flooded with memories and thoughts of how my children love me. I saw Luke rubbing my face and telling me how wonderful I was in his younger years. I felt Macy laying on me in bed in the morning and pressing her cheek to mine as hard as she possibly could. I could hear all the sweet things they have said to me, but mostly feel how "hard" they had hugged me and loved me. Most of the time these encounters are first thing in the morning, when there's no distractions, when we can focus completely on our feelings and emotions.
     Jeff has often said that he thinks they would go back into my tummy if they had the chance. He also has asked me many times why they don't love him like that. My answer has always been the same. The kids have a special bond with me because they came from me, out of me. I provided their sole nourishment. I have always given them my entire focus and attention. I always listen when they speak. I rarely ever have an interest or going on that I put ahead of them. They know without a doubt that I will do what needs done for them. They don't have to wonder if I will get them something to eat, if I will have clean blankets and clothes for them, they don't have to be concerned with a thing because they are my number one priority. I don't know if that's the right way to be as a mom or if I am doing my children a favor or not, but that is just the way I have been since day one. My love for them won't allow me to be any different.That's exactly how God loves us. He always listens, he's always there, and he's always willing to provide.
     But, the focus of this message that God was showing me this morning wasn't about the love that I have for my children or the love he has for us , thats a given, it was about the love that they have for me and how purely it is expressed. Its not for show, it usually is in the dark minutes of the morning when no one is even around, it's not to get something in return, its just a pure demonstration of their love for me. Thats what God wants!!!!! He showed me that so clearly this morning. He want us to have that passionate love for him, because after all we came from him and he has provided each and every need that we have had. He wants us to press into him! Why don't we?
     As Luke is growing up I see these demonstrations of love diminish. His hugs are not nearly as hard as they used to be. He takes advantage of many of the things that I provide for him and comes to expect them, somehow feeling that he "deserves" that treatment. He seems to feel that he is too mature for those expressions of love and that they are just assumed. "You know I love you Mom". That's exactly how we as Christians are. God knows we love him. He knows were thankful for what he does. I say it all the time. I talk to him everyday.  Maybe not, maybe he yearns for that love from us. That pure selfless love where given the chance we would abandon ourselves and crawl back into him if we could.
     God really opened my eyes and gave  me a clear understanding of the way we should love him this morning. I felt like I needed to share it, so take from it what you will. Have a great day, love your family and love God a little "harder".