I just watched a video on YouTube by a local girl singing a song she had written in light of the suicide of Dalton Walker. I can't stop crying. To be honest I've been in tears or on the verge of tears since Monday. I did not know Dalton Walker, but feel sure that now I will forever remember his name.
Monday night late I saw a post on facebook that told of a middle school boy in Princeton taking his life because of bullying. I quickly took note of the name because I know of another child with that name. My heart sank just thinking that I may know the mother of this boy. I text a few people and was relieved to know that it was not the same peron. The relief didn't last long as I began to realize that this boy was someone's child as well. A mother had lost her precious boy, a sister had lost her brother, many children had lot their friend, and most importantly an innocent child had lost his only shot at this life. I couldn't sleep all night. How could this happen? In our little town? Wait, I remembered that it had happened with a high school boy just monthes ago. What's going on?
On Tuesday I had to take Macy to the doctor. Everyone there including the doctor was talking about the tragedy. Wednesday, Thursday, and today I have been out and about working and the chatter is constant. Everyone speculating why, what can be done, and will this happen again. Our town is grieving that is for sure.
Of course as a mother my main concern is my children. I have heard opinions all week as how we should be teaching our kids, what we should tell them about bullying, and what we should look for. There's as many solutions as there are children. " tell them to knock their lights out" "tell them to always tell the teacher" "we need to toughen these kids up" "we need to teach peace and love" "those bullies should be tried for this". It goes on and on. What's a mother to do?
I feel so torn. Yes the people that bullied this poor child were wrong and should be punished, but we have to remember that they are twelve year olds as well who obviously haven't been treated/taught right. Children are lacking love and support which is causing both sides of this coin. Parents are overworked and the world expects so much that quality time with our children sometimes takes a backseat to our daily tasks. People are so wrapped up and so stimulated by our electronic warp speed society that love is falling through the cracks. Children need loved on that's the bottom line. Love is not a Xbox 360 or a pair of trendy shoes, love is time spent, hands held, rough talks, and sometimes tough punishment. Our children need that, everyday. Without it I fear that we will see more and more go down the road of becoming the bully or becoming a helpless victim of the bully.
Another area I believe we may be lacking in is community. As I drove around today I saw many blue ribbons hanging on trees. I have saw multiple people have their Facebook pics changed to ribbons or pictures of dalton. Meetings have been planned along with candle light vigils and news stories in his honor. He is now embraced and loved by Princeton wv. What if he would have been embraced by this community all along or even last week, how would this story have been different? What if we all knew his name because we were all willing to stand in the gap and stand up for a child who needed help. What if we had showed those bullies love and taught them that they were more than that and that they had nothing to prove. Think of the change that could perpetuate if we all showed a little more love and made a little more effort. We don't wear ribbons to support the living, why? We rarely send flowers to the living, why? It's seems like we're just a little too late with our kindness and softheartedness, myself included.
How do we do this? I think it starts with mindfullness. We have to pay more attention. We must learn to turn the chatter in our brains off and listen to what people, especially children are saying and even more so what they're not saying. We have to be willing to step out and help someone, willing to open that can of worms, willing to get over ourselves and get into others. We can be that light in someone's life. We can say those words they need to hear. We can save these lives. It just takes intentional effort. I am willing to try. Will bullying ever stop? Not a chance, but can we shed some light and love on this situation? Absolutely, and if one life can be saved then all our efforts are worthwhile.
The song the girl wrote was called "Invisable Scars". I am wondering if Dalton's scars we're invisible or if no one took the time to look at them. Let's all try and let our love reach out to these children as an expression of Gods love so that they may know how valuable they are. RIP Dalton Walker
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